This is something I wrote a year ago, on Bear's anniversary. I didn't know whether I'd ever publish it but needed that mental release of writing it down. It's now become quite important to me to hit publish. I sometimes feel like the feelings I have; the way other people's actions make me feel, are… Continue reading Two Years On, Exploring My Thoughts On Those Who Met My Baby.
This is something I wrote a little while ago with the intention on publishing further down the line. As we announced recently on the Facebook page, this summer we are expecting our third child, another rainbow brightening our lives after the death of their big sister. I wrote this when I was seven weeks pregnant.… Continue reading 7 Weeks With Baby #3; Initial Thoughts & Feelings!
It's already been a month since Bear turned two, and since the second anniversary of her death. It's such a mixture of feelings. My heart can't quite decide if it's completely broken or bursting with love; I'm a funny little bundle of both. There's been so much anxiety in the build up to her birthday.… Continue reading Bear’s 2nd Birthday Celebrations & Reflections 2 Years On
This time a year ago I was going to bed really nervous. I was terrified. I was getting up early in the morning to head to the hospital to wait to be called in for our planned cesearian. It was hard to sleep. I'd spent a ridiculous amount of time packing and repacking our bags.… Continue reading Our Rainbow Baby is ONE!
Something that is on the forefront of my mind at the minute is what on earth I'm going to do with my life. Before Bear died I was doing a MSc + PhD studentship with the MRC in Interdisciplinary Biomedical Research. She was born early, the week of my exam board for my masters. Everything… Continue reading Mummy guilt and my career after #infantloss
Our rainbow little girl is ten and a half months old. I've been a little out of touch with blogging after a hectic few months, and have never really been one for monthly updates. She has changed so much, so quickly, though, I'm feeling more and more inclined to jot it all down. Here's what's… Continue reading 10 Month Update: Raising Our Rainbow
Our not so little rainbow baby is six months old already! She is a very tall girl, off the top of the charts and quite a chunk for a thirty seven weeker. This wasn't always the case! Bunny was tiny in length when she was born and suddenly shot up at about six weeks old. She… Continue reading Our Breastfeeding Journey – Pumping, Pumping, Pumping.
Our little rainbow baby has finally arrived! She is now two and a half weeks old. Just like her big sister, she's a perfect mix of the two of us in looks. Daddy's eyes, my nose and chunky lips. Our girls definitely look alike, bless them. I love that. For our rainbow's sake, we've both… Continue reading Our Rainbow Baby’s Arrival
Today is the 31st July. Ten months on. I'm 36 weeks and one day into my pregnancy with our little rainbow baby. She's wiggling away in my tummy, breech, which still even this far into the pregnancy, feels so freakishly different to her big sister, who was stubbornly head down from 22 weeks. Their Daddy… Continue reading Life Ten Months Ago
The biggest thing I've had to get used to in this pregnancy is, actually, akin to what I'd be going through in a more 'conventional' life. The idea that my tiny baby, my little girl, is going to be a big sister; the transition from going from a mama of one baby, the most wonderful… Continue reading The Realities of Pregnancy After Loss