Tucking into this book, whilst Bunny was going to sleep and Cub was angrily boobing like the overtired little person he is; I was a little bit weary. Like when I approach Christmas, Mother’s Day, anything she’s noticeably missing from, I’m well aware I’m probably all bout to have a healthy sob or five. I’ve… Continue reading Life After Baby Loss by Nicola Gaskin
I’m sat here writing this at past 4 AM, having been up since 2. Bunny and Chris are asleep. Baby is occasionally booting me to keep me company but I just cannot sleep. I’ve worked so so hard for this pregnancy to be something positive and beautiful. We made the decision very early on that… Continue reading Third Trimester – Hitting the Wall & Feeling Messy!
I’ve been pretty slack in writing about this pregnancy, in part because right up until the third trimester started it was a pretty quiet one! In the girls’ pregnancies I wrote a journal to them, so I’m recording this pregnancy here because I just don’t have the time for a weekly journal with Bunny running… Continue reading Second Trimester with Baby #3
The first trimester of our second rainbow pregnancy has been interesting. Nobody has known about my pregnancy and this has made it go so much more quickly! I’ve found myself much more distracted thanks to Bunny. The leg situation was a bit extreme. In Bear's pregnancy I felt similarly, I had work distracting me from… Continue reading First Trimester, for the third time.
Two years ago today was my very first Mother’s Day since Bear was born. The year before I’d been ten weeks pregnant and we’d excitedly scribbled a note in our mums cards to tell them they were going to be grandparents. We filmed it, and it was so so positive. That year, 2016, was totally… Continue reading Mother’s Day After Loss
A week today our eldest baby turns two. It definitely feels weird. It's the start of her not being a little baby and that's something I'd be feeling whether she was physically here with us or not. But that feeling comes with many others. Her birthday and this whole months brings with it memories of… Continue reading #LittleBearGives: Celebrate Bear’s 2nd birthday with us
For Bear's 1st birthday we wanted to celebrate her on all of the five days she was with us. We had her party on the actual day, and then couldn't do too much on the following 2 days as that was when Daddy started back at university. Bunny and I did however go for a… Continue reading Our Baby Girl is ONE #3: Back to Ours
Something I worried about approaching our Baby Bear’s birthday was her party. I really really wanted her loved ones to come together and celebrate her, but I was also so so scared that nobody would want to. I do feel a lot like people think that I’m a bit mad; that’s it, that she’s dead,… Continue reading Our Baby Girl is ONE #2: The Birthday Party
Our baby girl turned one at the end of September. As life has a habit of being crazy, I'm only getting a chance to write this now. It really does sound crazy when I write it down, in black and white. I have a daughter, who died when she was five days old, who has… Continue reading Our Baby Girl is One! (Part 1) The Fundraising
Last year on October 15th it was just over two weeks after our daughters death. We were days away from her funeral on the 22nd. It was her due date. Our little 37 weeker should have arrived then, in the start of autumn, not in the sunny September she decided she wanted her birthday in.… Continue reading Wave of Light 2016 & Why It’s Important to Us